Relentless Pursuit
Our relentless pursuit after God as He pursues after us.
Relentless Pursuit
Marriage and Covenant: Building a Foundation on Love
When my wife Medya and I tied the knot, we embarked on a voyage far deeper than mere tradition; it was a step into living out love as the Bible portrays it. Our conversation in this episode is an open-hearted exploration into the essence of agape love, the selfless, unconditional love that’s at the heart of Christian marriage. We peel back the layers of our personal journey, revealing how this profound love influences our daily interactions and fortifies our commitment to each other. It's not just about saying "I do," it's about what those words mean every day thereafter.
Navigating the waters of purity in a relationship is no easy feat, but it's a course we charted with honesty in our latest discussion. We delve into the importance of cultivating a solid foundation, recognizing that purity isn't just about the physical, but also about the mental and spiritual preparation for marriage. Medya and I share the transformative power of honoring this principle and how it strengthened the integrity of our bond, providing insights that could potentially guide others toward a more profound connection within their future or current unions.
Wrapping up, we turn our hearts toward the spiritual scaffolding that holds our love and marriage together: prayer and gratitude. We are immensely touched by the support we've received and in this episode, extend our deepest thanks, recognizing that such blessings not only uplift us but can ripple into the lives of our listeners as well. We encourage you to embrace the messages shared, to connect with us through our content, and to carry the torch of hope and encouragement into your own circles of influence.
Welcome back to season three. What's up, rp family? We're so excited for you to be here, and this episode to me is one of my favorite that we have prepared, because it has my new and improved Cause. She's no longer fiance, she is my wife, mi-dae Anaya.
Speaker 2:I relentless pursue.
Speaker 1:Let's go.
Speaker 2:I'm new and improved or upgraded.
Speaker 1:Up. Sure, my wife. Yeah, you're promoted, that's for sure, definitely promotion. Oh, I hope it's promotion. It would suck if it was at the motion. Some may see that, but I think it's promotion. My life has been promoted, babe. See, that's how you went over. Your significant other is make sure they know that you would be nothing without them, like I would not have dinner every night without you, babe. But anyways, well, what's up guys? Well, welcome back. We're so excited to dive into this week's episode because we're talking about marriage. Yes, we've been married for two weeks now or so, but A week and a half.
Speaker 1:Week and a half. Close enough, but yeah, almost two. But we I want to talk about the process of getting to that point where we were able to say yes to each other, and then also that covenant we committed to God, and the obstacles that are ahead of us, the journey that's ahead of us, and so, in that I mean from really a foundational standpoint, we have to get into this topic of love, right? So, in your definition, what would you say love is?
Speaker 2:To me, the love that God calls us to is a love that's unconditional, that it's not how I feel, that I don't wake up and decide to love you based off of how I feel that morning. It's a decision that I make to give you my heart, to be loyal to you, to serve you and to be the wife that God has called me to be to you and that, no matter what we're going through, no matter if you are doing something that I like or dislike, whatever that might be that I love you and I
Speaker 2:love you through all of that and there was an analogy that I heard, actually from Taylor Madhu, and I loved it and it put it in love. It put it in a different perspective for me, because she was saying that when you're upset with your children because they're not behaving as you would like them to, if they come and ask you to feed them or they ask you for something, you're still gonna serve them, even if you are upset with them in that moment because you love them. But in terms when it's our significant other or, in this case, my husband, if I'm upset with you and you ask me to make you dinner and I say no because I'm upset with you, that's not love. I'm loving you based on conditions. I'm loving you based off of my feelings and that's not the love that God calls us to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that point is that conditional love. The Bible talks about four different loves in the New Testament, the four Greek words, phileos, eros, and I can't remember the last one, it's blanking me, but the last one would be agape. And agape means charity. That's essentially what it means. But the definition of agape or charity is unconditional, sacrificial. It is the God type of love, it is the way God loves this, it is who God is, it is everything the essence of God comes from love. And so, in that, with the whole love topic, we get into this almost this untapped mind of who God is Like, we can get this fresh revelation of who God is through the love that we have for him, the God type of love, the sacrificial, the one where we lay our life down for him. But in that same way, god has called us I mean, for example, me and you, as we take him in this covenant to for me to lay my life down for you, to love you as Christ loved the church. And so that agape love, that unconditional, as you were saying, in that you would make me dinner, praise the Lord, because you all of a sudden in the kitchen, cooking, all look it. Let me tell you about the grace that God gives. God has graced my wife in that kitchen, because before me she didn't know what a kitchen would look like, but now she knows how to season. Come on somebody. She knows how to get the little broccoli steamed enough where it tastes delicious. She got the butter on it. Ooh, it's so good. She got the. Let me tell you about the chicken. This is a different type of love. Amen, but that kitchen. Anyways, back. I'm sorry I'm getting hungry now, but anyways.
Speaker 1:So that agape love, it's more than just how we love each other. It's now who we are. Because the Bible says man, what does it say? It says create in me a clean heart, right, the reason why we need a clean heart or a new heart, another versus a new heart, is because we are now a new creation. So our old ways have passed and we are now made in the image and likeness of God. So because God is love, now our identity becomes love, our identity. The Bible also says that you cannot have faith or hope without love, that everything is rooted from love, and we have to understand that. As a married couple, as ministers and leaders of people, we have to understand that our foundation of everything that we do is love and geared towards love. Do you have anything to add to that or any perspective change?
Speaker 2:Well, while you were talking, I was thinking about how marriage is the closest thing we get to the image of Christ, the perfect image of Christ, and how he loves us and how he has created us and designed us to love each other as man and woman, as he created Eve from Adam. So us being together, us being one, us being united, is God's perfect image of man, is how he has formed us to be even before we were in our mother's womb. And so you get to this place of searching for a relationship, because you're trying to find your purpose. You're seeking your purpose.
Speaker 2:You're seeking happiness and you're wanting to find it in another person. But, what you're truly longing for is to find your purpose and your identity in Christ, and with that there is that step of getting married. There is that step of being one, if that's what God has called you to, if that's the purpose that God has put on your life, which obviously that's the purpose that God has put on our life. So being married and being one is such a beautiful thing, it's unexplainable.
Speaker 2:You know you are walking in God's will, in God's perfect will for your life, when you are in a godly marriage, when you are in the marriage that God has called you to, you just feel so complete and so whole, Not because you make me whole and complete, but because God makes me whole and complete and he's called you to be my person.
Speaker 1:He's called you to be my husband, and in that I mean we have to get talking about covenant right. God made multiple covenants throughout the Bible. We see a covenant with Abraham, we see a covenant with Isaac, we see these covenants that God makes, but now he made it covenant with man, his children, where that covenant is that he gave his only son right, and so whoever believes in him, who confesses with their mouth and believes in their heart that Jesus' Lord, shall be saved. And the reason is because there's a covenant there. There was a covenant with Noah, that was the rainbow. There was a covenant, and we see this, these hints of covenants, throughout the Bible. Well, what is that covenant and how does that covenant established in marriage?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, if you, god is faithful to us he will never fail us.
Speaker 2:He will keep his promises to us. He will keep his covenant to us. But our first step to knowing if we are ready to make a covenant to another person is how is our covenant to God, how is our faithfulness to God? Yes, we fail him. Yes, we miss step. Yes, we make mistakes and he has a mercy and grace and forgiveness for us. Right. But we strive every day to be faithful to God, to keep that covenant to him and to be, to call yourself, a man of God or a woman of God.
Speaker 2:You have to be a covenant keeping person. You have to be a man and woman of your word. You have to have integrity. In order to have a successful marriage, a godly marriage, you have to know how to keep the covenant. And that's what I think is so worrisome in today's society and today's world and why we see a lack of successful marriages in in successful, I mean in God's view, in God's perspective of marriage is because we don't know how to keep covenants anymore. We don't keep covenants to ourselves. We don't keep covenants to God.
Speaker 1:So how are we?
Speaker 2:going to keep covenants to another person. A covenant to another person and also it's not held with that weight. You have to have that reverence. In awe of God sacrificed, he gave his only begotten son for us to make a new covenant with us. If you could have the reverence for that, if you're going to have the awe for that, you will have reverence and awe for the covenant that God has called you to make with your spouse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think the important part of the covenant is is that we became one. So, just as Adam and Eve were there and Eve came from the rib of Adam, now, we then joined together and you are now I mean, quote, unquote my rib. You know, you are part of me. You are no longer me there. I am no longer Nate. We are one. We are no longer identified as separable. We are now inseparable. You know, we, we have become this. This one unit with God in the center.
Speaker 1:And so we have to understand is, when we dishonor each other, we are now dishonoring ourselves. And then how could God give the weight that he needs to give to you to impact a generation If you can't even honor who you are, even your spouse? You can't honor them. And so that that goes into one about the covenant thing. It is. The thing is that we have watered down what it mean to be a covenant, because we have lost the practicality of what we can do in the Covenant. Because, if you think about it, when you make in a covenant with your partner, that doesn't mean the race is over, that doesn't mean you have to stop pleasing them. You are my helpmate, yes, but I'm also your helper. I'm also your protector, your provider. I have to do my share along with you. Yes, you're my helpmate, and even that translation isn't the best translation Into the original. What Hebrew, I guess, help me, it's, it's. You're more than just somebody that helps me. You are part of me, yeah, so you are completing me, you are making, you, make me whole, and so without you, I then lose a part of me, I lose my identity. And so that covenant, that that we made, now practicality. To assure that and to better that, babe, let's go on a date. Babe, let's improve our marriage and our in our, by having a conversation or or when we are in an argument, let's make sure, according to the Bible, let's not fall asleep as we're in in our anger, and make sure to solve what we're going through.
Speaker 1:And here's the thing is that many people lose sight of your spouses or your significant other, even if you're not in marriage, you lose sight of their values too, because it's not all about you. You are not the main character in a relationship. It don't care if it's your spouse, I don't care if it's your girlfriend or boyfriend, I don't care if it's a friend or brother or sister, I don't care who it is. If you lose sight of their values as well and you try to compromise their values based on what you desire, then you are not showing love. You are not.
Speaker 1:You are fracturing the covenant that you had established or will establish, or previously established, and you are then dishonoring them. You are dishonoring God, and and that's where we get into a lot of rocky areas Is because our sin and our brokenness we dishonor, and so because we dishonor we, we take it as common and then we no longer value them as a child of God. And so that's where we get our lack of faithfulness in our covenant, because there's dishonor, there's rooted dishonor, there's there's rooted ignorance, I guess, even in that, because you are ignorant to the fact that, or you're blinded I should say blinded to the fact that you are a child of God, because your own desires are covering, and that's where your new Heart comes in, because you are no longer your own. You are now in that covenant.
Speaker 2:I like how you're saying root it, because you're planting the seeds for your marriage once you are courting, once you are dating, even before you're married. Yeah, that's where you're beginning to plant the seeds, or you're uprooting Seeds that you know are gonna become weeds in your life.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:And so this is where the importance of we don't know exactly what lies ahead of us.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We're not fearful of what lies ahead of us, because you know that God is with us. But we did everything that we could and that we felt God was calling us to do to set ourselves up for a successful marriage. I'm creating healthy habits Outside of marriage before we stepped into that, and this is where, like you said, becoming one isn't just the end of the race, it's just the beginning of it. It's now that we get to Do life together where before we were one, we were staying in boundaries, we were making sure that we weren't becoming one before we actually sealed that covenant no soul ties, no entanglements right.
Speaker 2:And so it's important that you see you have self-awareness for your own behaviors and what is toxic in your life. That could be Emplified in your marriage. Yeah because this is an. I know this is something that's talked about a lot, but also not talked about in the depth that I believe it should be that I didn't hear but six before marriage. This is why you don't step into impurity purity before you're married boom because it's just going to Magnify itself in your marriage.
Speaker 2:Just because you're married doesn't mean you don't need to practice purity anymore. Beauty isn't just upsetting from sex. Purity is in your heart, purity is in your mind and that all you see is your, your husband and your wife. And when you step into Impurity, then it's just going to drag into your marriage. Yeah, and now you made a covenant with each other and now you're doing life together and now you live together and now you're creating children together, while also dealing with the impurity that was Planted.
Speaker 2:Yeah, before you said yes, before you said I do to somebody, and this just can go with anything else dishonor. If I have habits of dishonoring you before we're married, I'm going to dishonor you while we're married, or we're going to get to the point where we're going to be faced with my dishonor, my impurities, your dishonor, your impurities, like I said, well, also dealing with issues of life. It does this happen in marriages? Yeah, it does. Yeah, absolutely. But the reason why we come on this podcast and talk about our relationship and talk about marriage is to, like, help people like, hey, this is the road that we traveled, we made mistakes and we had to go the hard route. So we want to pour wisdom and counsel into other people through what we went through, what God showed to us and what God revealed to us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and and I think the important thing is is one we don't expect anybody to have a perfect marriage. I mean even in, though and I mean we're not experts in marriage, I don't want to say that, but in the theological level.
Speaker 2:We almost do.
Speaker 1:I know like, yeah, on a theological level, we have an understanding. We don't have a full grasp, I could tell you that right now, but and that's only gonna come through life but in that sense we we do have an understanding of what we went through to get to this point where we said I do to each other, and now we are able to live together. We're able to, you know, do what married couples do. Praise God, a man, man, huh, roba, shun that anyways. Where we are able to, you know, partake in this, this, this intimacy.
Speaker 1:On another level, how important it was that we stayed pure before, that moment Was extremely crucial.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna put me down blast, but me for myself, I was not, as most of us know, because I've talked about my son off off, off of.
Speaker 1:I did not abstain from sex before marriage. But the thing is is that when me and me they went into a covenant, when went into a relationship, I took it so serious and so crucial for my future, her future and our family's future that we didn't even want to cross brown boundaries like that, because we knew that the blessing would be hindered, not completely cut off, it would be hindered and that we would have to come out of rooted Emotional damage based on what we caused each other before we were married, and so that goes into a lot more restoration that we need and there's a lot more Compromise that we need to get out of and a lot of pride we have to get, a lot of lust we have to get out of and a lot of hurt between each other we have to get off and and that's the thing is that we want to share. That it's better to withhold. It's. It's not it's not in the sense easy, not for any means, but it's better because the storms ahead become easier and go ahead.
Speaker 2:I yeah. That was definitely one of the best decisions that we could have made and I'm so thankful that that's something we chose to do together and that you were, or Someone that would wait, and would wait for me and help fight to that finish line where we would then be sealed to become one. Yeah there's so much more that needs to happen before you make that bond, before your bodies become one.
Speaker 2:Yeah it's more than just a physical Act that, like I said, in today's society you diminish marriage, you diminish, diminish sex, you diminished becoming one. It holds no weight, it's just like nothing to people anymore. Yeah when it God has created it to be something that's so beautiful and it holds so much power. There is so much power in in becoming one, and if we're not in a place to hold that capacity of Becoming one, we damage ourselves, we hurt ourselves, we hurt ourselves. So we knew that there was. We couldn't afford that.
Speaker 2:Yeah there's no way we could afford crossing those boundaries before. But like it's not that we were Afraid in a bad way, we did have reverence and fear and all of God in in that fear, but it's like we knew it was life or death. Yeah like it's we're Waiting and getting married, or we're crossing boundaries now and go in our separate ways. Yeah so it was like what did, what were our intentions for each other?
Speaker 1:What were our values?
Speaker 2:Yes, we wanted to be together forever. We wanted to be in the perfect tool of God, and I had faith and I knew that that's what you were for me. And there was nothing I wanted to do to jeopardize that. If that meant stepping out of God's will and purpose for my life, then, like I said, it was life or death.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:And so for people to get to this place where, okay, I've made mistakes in my life. I was not Abstaining from sex before I got married, but now you, you meet someone that you really believe, that God has called you to be with forever and they are your husband or wife. God has grace you don't just put Tell yourself oh, I had sex before I was married, so oh well.
Speaker 2:Yeah like I'm just gonna keep doing it. I already made a mistake. No, god kid. Every single day, every single morning, his mercies are new. We have a chance to start over, we have a chance to Recurrect our path, and that is because of the mercy and grace of our God.
Speaker 2:Yeah he has given us access to that. But we have to take authority of it or we're gonna just stay in this mindset that the enemy wants us to be and we already Failed where we already missteped, where already you could have done that to yourself. You could have told yourself Well Nate, I'm never gonna abstain from sex. I've I've never been able to do it before. How am I ever gonna be able to do it now?
Speaker 1:I did think that, by the way I I did that, I thought I could never Not do it. I mean, and what ended up happening is that God gave me grace in that situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that was also an attack of the enemy. Oh, absolutely because if you stayed in that mindset, we wouldn't be sitting here, right now Absolutely, let alone be in church.
Speaker 1:I mean, who knows what rabbit hole I could have went through, you know, if I allowed that bondage to continue to weigh on my life. Yeah, and so you and and I do want to make this clear Just because let's say you did take, you know, have that compromise, that doesn't mean that person that you made that compromise with isn't your significant other. But I will say your road in that journey now has got a lot more difficult In the sense of we're now you're going to need God's mercy and grace even more Because we're synabides, grace abides much more that you need to give room for that restoration now in your life. You need to make sure that you remove any Uncleanliness that's in your walk now. It just, it just goes to the sense of when, yes, you did make that compromise, lord, I need forgiveness, and it is in a heart of repentance where God can restore a relationship in a practicality way. I do think you need space, not necessarily breakup, but you will need space between you to build up those walls again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I I'm sure that's probably what the best thing to do would be, but it's hard to speak on that. That's not something that we had to go.
Speaker 1:I agree.
Speaker 2:We had to be restored from a lot of other things a lot of other things and that's why we say it was almost like a life or Death for us, because that would have just been like the tipping point, because we were already getting restored from so many other things that have happened in our past. Now we're being dragged into our relationship and just a lot of other cleansing that God had to do in our life. So, waiting until we were sealed, we said I do we.
Speaker 2:See delivered we stood in front of our family and our loved ones and, in the presence of God, made a covenant to each other.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, and let me tell you that wedding ceremony was Amazing and I'm a little biased because it was ours, but we had so right when we she walked in and I'm gonna have to like post a video Eventually when they let me I just I could feel like just something come over me, where I was just like Like I was trying not to cry Because I kept telling myself I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry, but the lip was moving, it was like, yeah, it was that, it was that quiver in there, but it was beautiful because she walked down. We had, we took communion and then we did worship. We had every pastor that was there. They came and prayed over us before. We said I do and all that. And then in our vows I mean our vows were geared a lot towards, you know, the Christ, a lot towards Christianity, and so as we walked out, we made sure to to seal everything the way we felt God was leading us to. It was just the Holy Spirit was in that place.
Speaker 1:We've had testimonies on testimonies on testimony of people saying like we felt something. We felt like there's one guy that during the wedding, the reception, he came up to us and I'm not I'm not gonna say who was I was gonna say, but never. He came up to us and was like I don't know what happened, he's not saved or anything. Well, he might be safe, well, anyways. So he came up to us and was like I don't know what it was, but just during the ceremony I was like he said I was crying, I was bawling my eyes out and I was just in that moment.
Speaker 1:I was like, well, that's why we did it in that way, so we could model and be an example to people that never had that encounter or that experience. And so that, for me, was one thing that touched my heart, and that's why I believe that the Making sure you have boundaries and don't compromise and don't have any tolerance to the things that the world tries to conform you to. It's so important because, the blessing of God, it surpasses everything that the world can offer, because you, your influence, will impact, our influence can, has the ability now to impact Relationships that thought they never could, marriages that thought, okay, we did this before, what do we do now?
Speaker 2:That's something like I, sorry, I just want to add that's why God has also ordained our union and our marriage, not just for ourselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely but for everybody that is surrounded to our lives, everybody that we are going to me and that was a big prayer of ours for our ceremony. Not like God, let this be the best, happiest, like, yes, I want those things right, but my prayer to God leading up to our wedding was, lord, as Real as you have become to me through this Relationship, in the building of this marriage, as tangible as you have been to me, lord, as the way I feel your presence when we are together. Lord, make that tangible and real to everybody in that audience, everybody that is going to be there at our ceremony. If they have a broken family, a broken marriage, whatever it might be, lord, give them hope to know that you could restore Everything, god. You could restore their broken marriage, you could restore their broken family, whatever it is that they're going through, that they would just be touched by the presence of God.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, at our wedding, yeah, and and yeah, that's, that's what we would listen. I mean, that makes fun of me, because I wanted to do a cause of salvation. I Was like this close man, I was gonna get it, but I was like she, she was like, no, not at the wedding, maybe the reception I'm just kidding, babe, I'm just kidding. But yeah, so it was an amazing experience, amazing encounter, and I just feel like we grew Closer together through everything. And so, with that being said, we're gonna close out right here and I just want to thank you. I honor you, love. We didn't get into Half the things that we wanted to talk about, but that's like every podcast we do together, right, but you're just so beautiful and I just love you so much and I'm so excited to do life with you forever, officially, forever, and our P family, what it do. We love you guys.
Speaker 1:We thank you guys for joining this week's episode of relentless pursuit. We know that you guys are have been praying for us. We've heard your prayers or felt your prayers. I'm sorry. We felt your prayers and we know the Lord is gonna do even more in your lives as well, because God is such a faithful God he's he loves to bless his children, and so, thank you, thank you. Thank you, don't forget to like, follow, share, subscribe to all our social media platforms and share this episode, share it with a friend, share it with your partner, share it with your Person that you're in a relationship with, even to share it to your family. Well, we would love to hear your feedback, we would love for them to hear this message and we are excited For you guys to join next week. Thank you guys for joining. See you guys soon.
