Grace and Accountability: Navigating Leadership Failures in Faith

In this deep and thoughtful episode of Relentless Pursuit, we explore the complex issues surrounding recent falls of notable pastors and leaders in the church. With a personal touch, our host shares his experience on both sides—as someone who has been hurt by church leadership and as a former leader who has fallen. Key topics include the importance of discipleship to maintain accountability, addressing the root causes of personal struggles, the necessity of the fear of the Lord, and understanding the balance of forgiveness without forgetting. This episode aims to provide a nuanced perspective on maintaining integrity and grace within the body of Christ while addressing some hard but necessary truths.

Transcript

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What's up, RP family? We are back with another episode of Relentless Pursuit. Today I wanted to get into something deep. We had something ready to go and I was editing this week and was ready to release an episode, but I really felt Something that was close to my heart. I wanted to talk about this week actually, or maybe the past couple of weeks, I should say we've had certain people, certain pastors, they had certain things come out against them whether they're allegations, whether it's factual, whatever the case may be, no matter what the case is, there has been this almost a reoccurrence of. known pastors, falling. And I want to get into that. I feel like that I am one person that will always have grace for someone in leadership. I am a person that will always have mercy because I understand. I, speaking from my own life, I just, I don't know. There's so many times where God has snatched me up from a situation that I've placed myself in or so many times that God has had mercy and grace for my life. And but in that same instance, it's like where do we balance the fact that the bride is supposed to have integrity and a standard, but at the same time, there's these pastors that are carrying this weight, these leaders that are carrying this weight and they mess up. They're human. And so there's some things that we want, I wanted to get into today that I really felt like that are really necessary for us to dive into and talk about because relentless pursuit is more than just, something we, we do for fun. I, I want to get to the nitty gritty and some of the que the questions that people in the world ask the church is yo, you guys do all these wrong things. Why would I go to church? For example. And I know like the Catholic church, the Lutheran church, the Mormon church, they all got to get bunched up together with Christianity, quote unquote. But at the same time, they're obviously to the people that are in those certain denominations or even religions understand the distinction. But the world doesn't and so we are grouped together with religion Unfortunately, but at the same time where do we as christians become? Distinct in our actions where do we as christians become known not as necessarily a christian quote unquote, but as a follower of christ and so this is what the three You Or no four things that I wanted to get into today and then we'll dive into a little bit deeper, but a little bit of my backstory is that I am someone who was in a leadership position. I am someone who understands what ministry and the weight of ministry and the weight of conveying God's word and preaching and teaching and. Almost being an example. But at that same time, I understand what it means to, to fall from that. To, because of your own actions, you have placed situations where you now have more failures in your life. And I want to dive into both perspectives as a man who's been hurt by church leadership following, but also as a man who has fallen in church leadership. And let's dive into it. And there's four main components of how to stop it and also how to protect from it. First is discipleship is necessary. You have to have someone in your life that is able to tell you, no, there, there's a big thing in the Bible and in the world right now it's talking about, Pride it's pride month. It's pride it you have to be proud of your family proud of your lifestyle proud of These certain things and we take pride but we have to remember and what god has Called us or said to us and spoken in his word is that god resists the proud And so pride it allows us to put up a mask of who we truly are and allows us to operate in a facade and almost play fairytale with our life. And B because that's what pride is. Pride doesn't want to admit that we're wrong. Pride wants to cover up our mistakes and manipulate the situation to where we feel like we're right. And so pride is a very big in these Fall in these falls in these faults in these fails. But the thing is to counteract that product, you need discipleship. Discipleship is necessary. You need accountability in your life. You need someone that is willing to walk with you in, in, in your life. And I want you to understand it doesn't matter how high you get, no matter how far you go, no matter how elevated you are. Whether you're a pastor or lead pastor, mega church pastor, or pastor of pastors, or someone that just fills a pew in a congregation doesn't matter. You need discipleship. You need accountability. There are people that, that have rejected that. And because they've rejected that, whether they can accept it with their words, but they reject it with their actions. And so they end up hurting themselves in the long run and they'll allow things in their lives. That where their walls should have been up, but they didn't have the accountability in their life where someone was able to say no. And I want us to understand that accountability is not condemnation. Just because you're saying, look it, you don't want to do that because it will lead you to here. And so you should do this instead. For example, you don't want to drink that drink because it will lead you down the path of habitual sin. So what you should do instead of that drink, you should drink water and get into prayer. You should fast and open your word. You should go to church and worship God. There, there's these things that we have to do and have an accountability partner for so that we don't cross the boundaries that God has set for our lives. And so that goes into discipleship. See, the Bible talks about when Jesus was on the earth in the the 30 years that he was, we don't really know, but in the three years he chose 12. Technically, if you really want to get technical, he chose more, but there was 12 that were following them that were called the disciples. And so he was mirroring for them what they should do in the Bible even says, I'm doing everything that my father says to do. So he's mirroring God as an example of what we are to do. So we are not only just to mirror God, but we are to mirror God for others. And so that's what Jesus was trying to show his disciples. Look at, it's not about doing being me. It's about being him. It's being like him, mirroring him, being the reflection of him. Because even if you come to me, you have seen the father. And so that's the thing is that Jesus is trying to convey is that he is not a representation of himself, even though he is God, Jesus is saying that we need to be the representation of him. We are not our own life. We are not our own self. We are given over to God and we are supposed to be in made in his image. And so discipleship leads you down that path being conformed to God's image. I think discipleship is one of the lost arts in the church. And that's how we have such this delusion of we feel like our purpose, our calling, our assignment is Really just isolated from everybody else. And that we don't allow discipleship in our life because our pride gets in the way and we don't want ourselves to be vulnerable before someone And we use this lie saying man doesn't need To do that it I give my life to god the thing is that jesus became man so he could be an example for these 12 And then if you want to go further back, we have moses and joshua. We have elijah and elisha we have paul and timothy and silas we have all these examples of discipleship that are around us and we lack the really the Education or knowledge of the Bible to really grasp that fact is that God wants to use you. But first he wants you to be taught not only by him, but a man that you can that who can lead you. There has to be a covering over your life and it's so crazy to me cause I, Forgive me, Lord, but I look on Tik Tok and I see these certain things where people are saying this is a false pastor. This is a false prophet. This is a wolf in sheep's clothing. You, God says, or God never said, wanted anybody to go to church and God never wanted you to do a life with or even the crazy ones is God never said you to pay tithes. And I'm like, I don't read the Bible. Yes, I get it. I get it. What church is been transformed it. To is not in the Bible, but also what's not in the Bible is the pizza that you're eating, like the things in your life that you live on a daily day to day basis. We're not in the Bible. So I understand church. Yes, it is in a building now, but And previously it was in a house, but there was also persecution that was going around, which would kill people if they gathered in a specific building. And so the logic people use is out of context. And so I don't understand that, but at the same time I get where they're coming from, but they need to dive deeper into the word. And the way to dive deeper into the word is having accountability and discipleship implemented in your life. And so that's the first point. Second point is that if you are struggling in your life, don't attack the symptom, attack the seed. There needs to be a a revelation of addressing the seed in our life, addressing the foundation in our life, addressing the root in our life, because we like to, in life we more reactionary than prevent. We, we like to carry around a fire extinguisher without removing the things that can catch fire. And so we are basing our actions and moving and operating based on this is What's happening now, let me get the fire extinguisher, blow it out. Let me calm down the fire from or whatever the case may be, instead of building up the parameters or building up the borders. So that fire would never exist in the first place. And so I think that comes into the same thing and same class as we have to remove our pride. And truly understand what are our faults? What are our struggles? Because the Bible says that temptation comes from our own evil desires. What do we desire? What are our hearts desire? What are the Bible says? Our heart is deceitful above all. That's why we need to be made new in him. That's why God needs to create in us a new heart, a clean heart. And so, If we are walking in the flesh, because we can walk in the flesh and live in the church, we can walk in the flesh and do the religious things. Look at the Pharisees. They were around the things of God. They were around the temples. They were praying. They were fasting. They were doing these things, but they never had an intimate relationship with the Lord because they never dealt with the seed that was in their life. The seed of pride, the seed of religion, the seed of greed. And the fact that they never could pull down that their curtain to be vulnerable before our Savior, but vulnerable before the one who could take that has taken away the sins of the world that you couldn't be vulnerable before the chief cornerstone. What makes you think you can be vulnerable to you? And so we have to really look at the mirror. We have to really dissect what are our faults? Yeah. Because it's not about treating the symptom. I could take an allergy pill, but if I'm going to constantly go out in the middle of winter without a shirt on soaking wet, that doesn't do me anything. I'm still going to get sick. You have to be in a mindset of Lord, remove any seed that I have planted and help me build my Stamina to run the race you have set before me. Not what I think is a shortcut because so many times in life we've taken the shortcut way and that's attached things to us that we didn't see until it was too late. So the problem isn't the symptom, it's the seed. And then I think in another way to build against the fall, To build. And this is one of the most, this is the most important point. I shouldn't even say one. This is the most important point that I have for you today. You need the fear of the Lord. I think that is such a lost doctrine in the church today. We believe in grace. We believe in mercy. We believe in forgiveness. We believe in salvation. But we cross this threshold of salvation now what We have to be built up in the fear of the Lord Because the fear of the Lord will see when God called his people and his children to the promise time What was the first thing they had to do they had rid? Everything that was in the land okay, so We have been let's use this metaphor. We have been washed clean. We have been baptized You By the spirit and in water, went down, came up new creature in Christ. Now what? Now that they have their own land, now that the Israelites have their promised land, now that the Hebrew people have their promised land. Now what? It is time to build a temple so the people can worship him. It is time to build up standards. It is time to put parameters of where people could go. It's time to build up a wall so that there are borders that will not be crossed. And I think so many times that we've left cities without walls be placed because we feel like we can do it on our own self control or we felt like we could do it through our own strength without understanding that God, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. And let me go back. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. The fear of the Lord is the foundation of what we need in order to build our city. And to be fortified in Christ. We need the fear of the Lord. You can love God and still sin though. And I think this is the such a misconception of the church is that just because you love God, that doesn't mean you won't sin. And we and I think for myself, I put such pressure on myself to be perfect. To live a godly lifestyle, to live perfect in his image, in his lifestyle, and even in people's perspective. And this is how I got myself in trouble in the first place is because I love God so much, but I lack the fear of the Lord. Now, what is the fear of the Lord? The reverence of his spirit, the reverence, understanding that he is omnipresent. So every action that you do, it's in the presence of God. Now, how much do you revere him that you're not willing to offend him or hurt him or walk away from him? There's a Bible, there's a Bible scripture in the Bible. Let's go to the Bible a little bit. It says Hosea, I believe I could be wrong anyway. So it talks about this man who's marrying a prostitute. God calls him to marry a prostitute. And and I'm going to give you just the. Summary of the story, he marries his prostitute and they're happy, they're in love, they're doing their thing and one night he goes to sleep and she goes off and he wakes up in like a panic and he's like, where's my wife? And he goes down to the bar and making this more dramatic. To our culture, it goes down to the bar and he's flirting, she's flirting with this guy and she's let's go to back to your place and this and that. And so she's already cheating on him. Then he takes her back home and what the heck? Don't do ever do that again. But next time that a few weeks later go past, yes, she loves him and she's living with him and she's being with him. But at the same time, then they go to sleep and Jose wakes up and he's, and she's gone and he's what the heck? Where'd she go? And he goes that back to that same bar she's not there and she's like where the heck and then the bartender is like yo That this girl may remember you from before this girl She went back with this guy and this is where he lives and he goes over there and I'm just I'm making this story a Little dramatic, but it's okay He goes to the house. He kicks down the door and he's yo, what are you doing? She's like yo, I still love you. I still love you. I'll go with you right now. I'm sorry. I'll never do it again And God told This man, he was like, or this man told God, it was like, why would you have me do this? Why would you put me in this marriage? Why would you call me to marry her? And God was like this is what my people do to me. This is what my people do to me on a daily basis. Why do they, why do people that, that love God continuously do things that hurt him and reject him. And what I called this, or what my title was for everything was the bridal's integrity, because we lack that, that, that integrity in the Lord. Meaning Our love for God is not at fault. We have the love for God. We have a desire to seek him. We have a desire to pursue him, but we lack the reverence of who he is understanding that not only is he our savior or heavenly father, he is the Lord of our life, meaning we are slaves captives to him, not because he wants us to be a slave to him. But he's given us an opportunity to choose him and cling to him and revere him. And so the fear of the Lord is more than just reverence though. It's more you're almost like it's, this is what it's like. It's like you're in a marriage and you're not going to cheat on your wife because of the repercussions of your wife. But you're not going to cheat on your wife because you love your wife so much that no one else has a place in your heart. And that's, I'm speaking on, on, on me and I'm thinking about life in this instance, just thinking about life. Do I love my wife so much that I wouldn't cheat on, that I wouldn't cheat on her mentally, physically or spiritually? Not because I don't want her to hurt her, but because I love her so much. Nobody even has that thought in me. And then even more so how much forgot? Am I willing to put financial responsibility over God and make that my idol? Make that the person that I'm caught in bed with? Make that, am I willing to make pride my idol? To be caught in bed with pride or greed or caught in bed with selfishness or insecurity? And there's so many things that we are willing to be caught in bed with because we lack the fear of the Lord. Just like I want to say it's Jose, but I could be completely wrong, but just like their marriage, just like their marriage, just like their marriage. She loved him, but still did not revere their marriage. And I think that's the most important part is that we have to have the fear of the Lord to build up trust. Our standard of where our willingness to go is or lack thereof. And so then it leads me to my last point. And if you are in the outside looking in forgiveness is not forgetting. And in the case of these pastors that fall or these leaders that fall, just because you forgive them does not mean. You have to completely welcome them into the position that they were previously. And this is one of the hardest things for me to get because on the opposite side of them, just because someone forgives me for what I have done, does not mean that I'm automatically placed in the position that I was before everything. Or even vice versa. Just because I forgive a pastor for hurting me, or forgive a leader for hurting me, or forgive this person for hurting me, does not mean that I have to, or I'm obligated to put them in the position of my life where they were previously. And I think that is where the church is at. Is that because they think that this pastor over here in Oklahoma, this pastor over here in Texas, this pastor over here in this other place in California, wherever you want to go. All these pastors that have been falling recently. They don't want to forgive because they think it's forgetting. And they think just because they forgive them, now they have a place. On the pulpit Look, I'm not gonna say to anyone that just because you've fallen does not mean you can pick take up a pulpit It's a completely different story when it comes to something illegal. It's a completely different story to something that is almost Yeah, but if someone falls it's not the church's responsibility to condemn It's the church's responsibility to Open your hand and help restore. It's the church's responsibility to help lift them up. We are not here to condemn. And how much more so should we tend to the pastors because they tend for so many. We should be the ones that are willing to say, you know what? I understand you messed up. I understand you're probably hurting. I understand you're going through this, and that, but I'm here for you. Whatever you need, I'm here. Our con and for the person that's fallen, that it's not public, that it's not out in front of the world or not out in front of anybody. The only way to get to the position in God, Is repentance. The only thing you must worry about is your condition in God, because it's more important than your position in man. We are fighting a generational battle between compromise, standards, and between holiness and impurity. There is a, the scripture in 1 Kings 1, I think it's first kings 19 through 13. It talks about elijah when he's on the mount Mountain and he's suffering through this like almost depression like symptoms and he's god i'm by myself. I'm all alone. I'm the only one serving you but in the same sense god's yo Don't even trip bro, like I have 7 000 that have not bowed their knee to bail He's like i'm covering 7 000 Like the one is amplified, but there's 7, 000 more. The one church with the one leader, the one pastor has fallen, but there is 7, 000 more that are still keeping up the standards that are still on their face praying that are still begging me for my presence, begging me for my grace and mercy. There are still 7, 000 more that are willing to keep up the holiness and standard that they have, that you, that, or I have called them to. There are 7, 000. So don't get tripped up over that one. So the people who want to point the finger, call these pastors that have fallen wolves in sheep's clothing, false prophets, essentially saying they're going to hell. Can you understand and give grace that the pressures of being a pastor or pressures of being a leader. Sometimes so heavy that it feels like the weight of life will kill you quite literally. Because I remember in that instance, when I fail, I remember feeling the weight, the responsibility of my actions, the repercussions of everything that I've done, feeling that my family was not going to. Make it feeling the confusion, the doubt, the hurt that I had with so many different people and feeling that maybe if I just ended it all, it would help. I remember feeling the hurt and the pain over my own fault. I remember hearing the gossip. I remember hearing the lies. I remember hearing these things and it's almost yo, I want to defend myself because I want to defend my integrity. I want to defend my Christianity. I want to defend my belief in my faith. But at the same time, I can't control this narrative because it's not mine to control. So it was in that moment where these pastors, it's in these moments where these pastors were these leaders where I had to figure out am I going to truly trust in God and believe in what I've spoken for so long or allow this, in these instances or these, this instance to, to change the complete directory of my life. And what a place where you feel almost abandoned and isolated and left out and neglected almost. And it feels like you you've remembered the messages that you preach, the messages that you've spoken the times in the Bible studies where you feel like you're trying to minister to others. You're trying to help others. You're trying to counsel others, but you, all that goes out the window because you feel the pressure and the weight of the church. But I'm here to tell you that there are brighter days coming for the ones that have fallen. And that God is repairing the breach between the people of God and him. And that time and time again, God has cared and had compassion over the people that have been hurting and fallen. Because God is saying that the righteous are waking up, the righteous are coming into the territory, the righteous are rising up from the ashes. God is saying that great things, the beginning of this year we decided that God has said that the word of the year is consecration in expansion. God is consecrating his church because he's wanting to expand it. He's wanting to cut off the fat. But what happens is that the fat needs to come back into the fold. Meaning, meaning, not that our sin needs to come back, but the people who are fallen aren't meant to be left in the dead. And one other story I want to get into. Thank you. That Elijah, Ezekiel, completely different. He went into this valley of dry bones and God was like, can these dry bones live again? And Elijah said, only, Lord, only, he said, prophesied of the wind says, live bon. Flesh on flesh and then God breathes into them and they have life and then there are army. Where'd these bones come from? Where'd these bones come from? They were dead people. Sometimes God can bring back to life what was dead. Your purpose, your dreams, your visions, God's assignments over your life. Sometimes they may feel dead, but God can bring them back to life. And sometimes they feel dead because it feels like you killed them. Sometimes your dreams feel like you've strangled them because of your own decisions, but God's saying, can these dry bones live again? So I know it was a little deeper conversation today. Thank you all for who have listened, joined in this week. We want to thank you. You guys are awesome. I truly am so grateful for the opportunity of coming before you and the opportunity of speaking, whether it's a life, whether it's some things that you disagree about or opinions that are being shared or even learning. Whatever the case may be, I'm just appreciative of everyone who tunes in. I want to remind you guys to like share, follow, subscribe to all our social media platforms on YouTube. Instagram, Spotify Apple music or Apple music, Apple podcast. All of the above. Tick tock. Oh, I forgot about that one. Trying to think of anything else, but anyways, thank you guys for tuning in. See you guys next week.